On Malasana and Balasana, Fear and Attachment, Letting go and Creating
Portion: Vayelech (Devarim 31:1 – 31:30),
Pose: Malasana (Also called Squat or Garland pose) Balasana (Also called Child’s pose)
I have been experiencing a lot of creative energy lately: artistic pursuits, taking a drumming lesson, retreat organizing committees, forming a new study group, planning a home addition and so on. In thinking about connecting a pose to activities Malasana came up for me because it is a pose that is useful in preparing for birth and in the birthing process as well. I asked myself, as I birth new ideas, organize events and have new experiences, what can I observe about myself that sometimes gets in the way of my best (and therefore perhaps divine) creating?
In the pose Malasana, on the physical level, I might initially feel tightness in my inner thighs. On the deeper, metaphorical level, I can use this pose to look at what holds me back when I am in the creating or idea birthing place in my life – or in times of transition/growth.
My dear chevruta, Judy, commented that this pose is especially appropriate to consider during this time of the year when we turn our thoughts to the birth of the world. Judy and I discussed this posture as having been a possible pose for the birthing of the world. In our discussion, we played with the ideas of G-d as a female and with G-d when in the feminine aspect. So, this is a good pose for me to consider, as I go forward into the coming year.
I find that often it is an attitude, such as fear that holds me back. I hear my doubting voice: what will they think; what if no one shows up; what if I can’t? In a place of fear, I feel vulnerable and on the emotional level, issues of vulnerability can certainly come up in Malasana.
In the portion, Vayelech, the connected ideas of fear and courage come up more than four times: 31:6: “be strong and courageous, do not be afraid and do not be broken…” 3:7 : “Be strong and courageous” 31:8: “…do not be afraid and do not be dismayed.” 31:23: “Be strong and courageous”
Fear also comes up for me in subtle ways as well, as I watch G-d tell Moses he is about to die and Moses seems to respond with equanimity, simply going about that day’s work. In the face of imminent death, will I be fearless like Moses? What other kinds of ‘death’ can I think about? Death of an idea or particular vision?
So I asked myself, how can I create a spiritual practice that supports courage and turns away from fear? To do this, I began by exploring where fear might come from. This questioning led me to consider what happens when I attach.
Sometimes, it is the attachment I have to the expectation of a particular outcome is a personal place of constriction and stagnation rather than an open place of expression and growth. I can see myself trying to make things happen, rather than sometimes, just getting my desires and vision out of the way and allowing things to happen. Can I begin to notice a ‘holding on’ that does not serve me? I imagine a woman squatting on the birthing bricks, trying to hold on to her child, rather than opening up, breathing into the discomfort and working hard to let go. Observing how I attach is helpful for me especially in my relationships with others when we are creating something together. When I strongly desire or expect a particular outcome my mind becomes smaller. In this small place, I feel afraid that I won’t get the outcome to which I have mentally attached myself. I find that my fears and my attachments are related.
For my practice in the coming year, I will change how I see myself. I will work on shifting my perspective and seeing my role as holding a place open or holding my heart open. From here I then just observe what transpires. For example, what if I have a party and I’m afraid no one will show up? Can I consciously shift my mind from attaching to a vision of what the party is supposed to look like and to just the practice of seeing myself as someone who will simply hold open her home and heart, then watch what happens? No fear. Same thing when I attempt those postures that challenge me. This is a practice I can use in asana, Torah study, meditation and life.
It seems to me that in Vayelech, Moses is turning over the leadership of Israel to Joshua. After wandering and leading for over 40 years, he won’t get to enter the Promised Land. Is this a problem for Moses? Perhaps he has detached from his need to enter the Promised Land and held his heart open to the mystery and miracle of each moment in his journey, as the moments bloom before him. (Note to self: I like that image…flowers blooming in the desert). Perhaps one of the lessons to learn from Moses is importance of attaching to the beauties and opportunities of each day, rather than draping my dreams on the hanger of tomorrows that may never arrive. Maybe this is another practice that warrants my attention as I enter the sweet Promised Land of the New Year.
Thank you, Judy, for helping me to consider Balasana, child’s pose, as a counter pose to Squat pose. Thank you for your beautiful descriptions of child’s pose as a way to come home, a place of safety, security, comfort and rest. Your teachings are a blessing in my life.
Now, fellow students, what say YOU?
L’Shana Tova to all.
For this year’s Rosh Hashanah card you can visit: http://4444leezart.blogspot.com/
Pose: Malasana (Also called Squat or Garland pose) Balasana (Also called Child’s pose)
I have been experiencing a lot of creative energy lately: artistic pursuits, taking a drumming lesson, retreat organizing committees, forming a new study group, planning a home addition and so on. In thinking about connecting a pose to activities Malasana came up for me because it is a pose that is useful in preparing for birth and in the birthing process as well. I asked myself, as I birth new ideas, organize events and have new experiences, what can I observe about myself that sometimes gets in the way of my best (and therefore perhaps divine) creating?
In the pose Malasana, on the physical level, I might initially feel tightness in my inner thighs. On the deeper, metaphorical level, I can use this pose to look at what holds me back when I am in the creating or idea birthing place in my life – or in times of transition/growth.
My dear chevruta, Judy, commented that this pose is especially appropriate to consider during this time of the year when we turn our thoughts to the birth of the world. Judy and I discussed this posture as having been a possible pose for the birthing of the world. In our discussion, we played with the ideas of G-d as a female and with G-d when in the feminine aspect. So, this is a good pose for me to consider, as I go forward into the coming year.
I find that often it is an attitude, such as fear that holds me back. I hear my doubting voice: what will they think; what if no one shows up; what if I can’t? In a place of fear, I feel vulnerable and on the emotional level, issues of vulnerability can certainly come up in Malasana.
In the portion, Vayelech, the connected ideas of fear and courage come up more than four times: 31:6: “be strong and courageous, do not be afraid and do not be broken…” 3:7 : “Be strong and courageous” 31:8: “…do not be afraid and do not be dismayed.” 31:23: “Be strong and courageous”
Fear also comes up for me in subtle ways as well, as I watch G-d tell Moses he is about to die and Moses seems to respond with equanimity, simply going about that day’s work. In the face of imminent death, will I be fearless like Moses? What other kinds of ‘death’ can I think about? Death of an idea or particular vision?
So I asked myself, how can I create a spiritual practice that supports courage and turns away from fear? To do this, I began by exploring where fear might come from. This questioning led me to consider what happens when I attach.
Sometimes, it is the attachment I have to the expectation of a particular outcome is a personal place of constriction and stagnation rather than an open place of expression and growth. I can see myself trying to make things happen, rather than sometimes, just getting my desires and vision out of the way and allowing things to happen. Can I begin to notice a ‘holding on’ that does not serve me? I imagine a woman squatting on the birthing bricks, trying to hold on to her child, rather than opening up, breathing into the discomfort and working hard to let go. Observing how I attach is helpful for me especially in my relationships with others when we are creating something together. When I strongly desire or expect a particular outcome my mind becomes smaller. In this small place, I feel afraid that I won’t get the outcome to which I have mentally attached myself. I find that my fears and my attachments are related.
For my practice in the coming year, I will change how I see myself. I will work on shifting my perspective and seeing my role as holding a place open or holding my heart open. From here I then just observe what transpires. For example, what if I have a party and I’m afraid no one will show up? Can I consciously shift my mind from attaching to a vision of what the party is supposed to look like and to just the practice of seeing myself as someone who will simply hold open her home and heart, then watch what happens? No fear. Same thing when I attempt those postures that challenge me. This is a practice I can use in asana, Torah study, meditation and life.
It seems to me that in Vayelech, Moses is turning over the leadership of Israel to Joshua. After wandering and leading for over 40 years, he won’t get to enter the Promised Land. Is this a problem for Moses? Perhaps he has detached from his need to enter the Promised Land and held his heart open to the mystery and miracle of each moment in his journey, as the moments bloom before him. (Note to self: I like that image…flowers blooming in the desert). Perhaps one of the lessons to learn from Moses is importance of attaching to the beauties and opportunities of each day, rather than draping my dreams on the hanger of tomorrows that may never arrive. Maybe this is another practice that warrants my attention as I enter the sweet Promised Land of the New Year.
Thank you, Judy, for helping me to consider Balasana, child’s pose, as a counter pose to Squat pose. Thank you for your beautiful descriptions of child’s pose as a way to come home, a place of safety, security, comfort and rest. Your teachings are a blessing in my life.
Now, fellow students, what say YOU?
L’Shana Tova to all.
For this year’s Rosh Hashanah card you can visit: http://4444leezart.blogspot.com/
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